Redefining Success

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It’s my second month being the official PAID executive director for YOU ARE, a nonprofit I founded 6 years ago. A sweet friend of mine is doing some volunteering work for us, and she was surprised to hear that I’ve been leading this organization without compensation.

There was a time when it bothered me — a lot. I thought not being paid meant I hadn’t “made it.” I thought it meant I wasn’t successful, or worse… that maybe other people were right when they said, “You’ll never make money running a nonprofit.” (My Leo energy didn’t like that)

I was using a measuring stick based on dollars instead of impact.

But the truth is… that was never the reason I started YOU ARE. I didn’t build this out of rebellion or to prove anything. I started it because I had an idea I couldn’t let go of. A fire in my gut I couldn’t ignore. A belief that maybe, just maybe, I could use my gifts to make a dent in the world — to show women they matter. That they belong. That they are enough.

At the start of 2024, I looked at my wife and said, “You know, it would be a dreeaaaaammmm to paid to do YOU ARE’s work. But I would go the rest of my life not getting paid and continue to make the impact we do through this work.”

I realized a big win for me — that I let go a while ago. I stopped gripping so tightly to what success had to look like.
I detached from the outcome.

That surrender — as scary and countercultural as it felt — created space for something new.

So much of our identity gets wrapped up in dollar signs, titles, or Instagram-worthy proof that we’re “doing well.” But it was in the seasons where I had none of that, where my bank account didn’t match my impact, that I learned the most about who I am.

I think often about the 8 months I spent living in Uganda. There were no fancy titles.
No paychecks attached to the work I did.
But every day, I got to show up as a friend, a mentor, a teacher — just me, nothing more.

And that was enough.
More than enough.

I wasn’t chasing gain — I was chasing connection.
I wasn’t proving anything — I was giving everything.

I released the thought of any gain and focused on what I could give.

Funny how when I brought that same energy back into my work here, the very thing I used to strive for — being paid for my leadership — came full circle.

Because striving often comes from fear. From desperation. From feeling like we’re not already enough.

More and more, I want to approach my gifts and contributions as if they’re extensions of me, not the identity of me.

Maybe you’re going through something where you’re feeling resistance. Maybe you’re experiencing shame, disappointment, or doubt.

Whatever you’re going through, it’s teaching you the same lesson I learned years ago:
You don’t have to earn your worth.
You don’t have to prove your purpose.
You are enough — as you are.

Let go of perfect, and start being present.

When we shift our focus from what we can gain to how we can give—right here, right now—something powerful shifts. We stop chasing approval. We stop performing. And we start living out the true purpose of our creation.

I’m rooting for you. Always.

JESS

Here’s my outfit on the first day as a paid Executive Director for YOU ARE! Had to rock our branding colors, of course (with a thrifted blazer I brought back from Italy!).