Becoming at 33
UNFILTERED MUSING 07
Today is my 33rd birthday.
Thankfully, I have the luxury of taking the day off from work and doing all of my favorite things. And honestly, one of my favorite things to do is follow my bliss. So I don’t really have anything planned. I just have an idea of what I want to do, and I will do them in my own time.
How Leo of me, right? Doing exactly what I want to do.
One of my favorite ways to start the day is a slow and rise morning. I love sitting on my back porch, taking in all the plants and blooming hydrangeas and roses around me while sipping my coffee. Usually a pug is snuggling next to me, and I see our lab jumping up beside us.
I grabbed my journal this morning and turned to the first page, and it was actually my birthday last year. I read it and found myself reading the very things I needed to hear.
This year, I’ve experienced an abundance of hope and heartache and everything in between. And while I’m not ready to share this journey fully, I do want to honor that my wife and I are in the process of trying to grow our family.
Last year, on my birthday, I wrote how I literally have everything I’ve ever wanted in my life, and the only thing missing was a baby. Every word was written with excitement, hope, and full confidence that it would happen during my 32nd year on this earth.
Plot twist. I find myself still writing the same exact words as last year. I’ve got everything I’ve always wanted, except one thing—a baby.
Something else I shared last year were 32 life lessons, and as I read them again, I found myself soaking in the very reminders I needed. Truths that heartbreak made me forget.
Things like “the more you stop trying to make something happen, the more it will happen” or “love can be seen in the darkest places.” I was holding onto every word from my 32-year-old self, appreciating the wisdom that continues to carry me through so many parts of life.
One of the books I read throughout the year—where I’d read one passage each morning—is called Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life. It’s a book that captures the essence of who I want to be in this world.
Less attached to expectations. More in the moment. Full of love for all people. Living a life of peace.
I read the final passage of the book this morning. How symbolic is that, stepping into my 33rd year of life. The book breaks down ancient teachings in a way that feels both accessible and applicable.
It’s based on the spiritual philosophy of Taoism, something I’ve been deeply interested in—especially since living in Beijing. The wisdom of the Tao has helped guide me toward who I strive to be. Someone more connected to the divine within me.
Here are a couple of things I underlined this morning:
“Imitate heaven while you’re here in form.”
“The more he lives for others, the greater his life. The more he gives to others, the greater his abundance.”
That is the essence of the life I want to lead. To take in the blooms and the butterflies and not be so distracted that I miss the beauty in its simplest form.
I want my presence to help others feel less alone and more seen. I want women and girls to feel bold in who they are. And when they don’t feel strong, to know that’s okay too. We’ve got each other.
I want people to know they can come to me and feel fully heard and validated without judgment. That they don’t have to be anything other than exactly who they are.
I hope my actions match my words. That if someone meets me, they experience the same version of me as anyone else would. Something real. Something soft. Something like heaven.
And now, here are my 33 life lessons that I’ve journaled:
Love can be seen in the darkest places if you look for it.
Everything is first created in your mind through your thoughts.
A peaceful environment stabilizes a grounded soul.
Plants will release dopamine daily. Surround yourself in them.
Owning up to your past mistakes, changing the behavior, and letting them go allows you to be a better, freer person.
Slow and peaceful mornings are the real luxuries in life.
When people love you for who you are, it unlocks a true sense of freedom.
Color is better. In your home and the clothes you wear. Period.
Showing gratitude for others brings people close together.
Moments of scarcity are a blink in the realm of abundance for going after your dreams.
Being present with people matters.
You always win when you believe God and the universe are rooting for you.
Small talk is for the birds. Real conversations with real people are what is missing.
Listening is the true art of communication.
Being an aunt is the absolute best.
Working out is not only for your body, but for your mind too.
There’s nothing like fresh sheets.
People’s trash is another person’s treasure.
The older you get the more your priorities change.
Drinking is underrated.
A gummy is the new cocktail.
Travel makes you a better person and a more loving human being in the world.
Things may change from what you are used to, but the change is what helps you become what you are meant to be.
Book the massage.
Traveling ignites your empathy.
The more you stop trying to make something happen, the more it will happen.
When you have unconditional love from your family and friends, that is when you meet freedom to be who you are, the prejudices from other people fall away because the place you most want love is rooted there.
Everyone deserves a love that feels like coming home, not settling. A love where you are seen, challenged to grow, and supported in becoming your fullest self, and you offer the same in return.
There’s ugly in beautiful things.
Money may not stay there forever, but memories will. Book the trip.
The more you let go of expectations, the more at peace you’ll be.
Love is the greatest emotion.
And what I’ve learned this year: Happiness and peace come from within, and the key is to create it no matter what you are going through.
Here’s to continuing to do life together, the best we can, in all the ways we can.
Rooting for you,
Jess
